We cannot always change the conditions to fit our desires – but we can always adjust our desires to the conditions. With rare exceptions, we own our thoughts. As emotions stem from thoughts, we are capable of controlling the former. Most people have a hard time accepting responsibility for their thoughts. They feel out of control; sometimes even controlled by their emotions rather than the other way round. This is normal, though, or has become the norm, because our thoughts are very often fired by external stimuli. We quite easily get into the habit of responding to certain events with specific emotions, generating a force of habit over time. Too often, we fall into the trap of replaying negative recordings and scripts that have become model emotional responses to specific situations: “When such and such happens, I have to feel … this way.” A typical example is the infamous Greek “moontza,” the equivalent of the middle finger gesture. Let me explain. According to Greek custom and tradition, when someone “decorates” us with a moontza, the extended open-five-finger palm, the conditioned response is to get back at him or her. “Idiot” or “In your face, you jerk!” The truth is that many have died of heart attacks in their effort to prove “how important they are,” and to respond to the offense of the traditional Greek moontza or an equivalent offense. “Do you know who I am?” they boast and retort, without expecting an answer, with the blood vessels on their neck all pumped up. This learned response passes from father to son. Trust me, I know. My own father often used to “decorate” fellow humans with cute little or larger moontzas while driving. Observing with admiration my father, the role model of my childhood, I also acquired a certain proficiency in the use of the infamous moontza. The problem is that all Greeks have become specialists attending similar traditional private courses, and often reciprocate: “In your face, Dr Ro!” What’s even worse is that, on a great number of occasions, others gladly throw a moontza in my face, anticipating my next move! It surely must be a Greek custom, because to “barbarians” (i.e., non-Greeks) the moontza looks like a … salutation! Hence, they do not become offended or feel the automatic urge to reciprocate. They just wave back with a Pan-Am [a.k.a. Botox] smile, unsure why the Greek passer-by is greeting them. Now, you too can throw “moontzas” easily, quickly, and accurately by using the new MNTZ-16 moontza-shotgun. On sale now, while stocks last. What is the end result? Because some of our emotional responses have become semi-automatic, this is how most of us come to believe that we are not really in control of our emotions. Nevertheless, just because certain responses to stimuli appear to be automatic it does not mean we don’t or rather can’t control them. By the way, if we cannot control our emotional response, who does? Find them and send them to me for therapy … to improve your mental health! Read more in “Idiots are Invincible: The Fool-proof “Ro” Method to Handle them, Solve Problems, and … Enjoy the Process!”
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November 2023
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